Horror question of the day

You've been bitten by a vampire the night before, and tonight you feel an incredible urge to attack a pretty, young lady, hold her down, bite her neck and suck out all of the blood in her body. Now think carefully, are you a vampire, or are you just an asshole?

Horror tip of the day

If you are in a room while your friend is being violently stabbed and you get blood all over your shirt: Take my suggestion, ACT QUICKLY, and soak the shirt in rubbing alcohol for 2 minutes before putting it in the wash!

Horror tip of the day

If you are in the jungle, and you run across some human skulls on stakes at the sides of a trail...and your guide says "It's a warning to keep out! That there is danger ahead."-DON'T BELIEVE HIM and KEEP GOING! He's just trying to keep that reasonably priced human skulls and stakes store all to himself!

Horror movie villain question

YES you can scare children with your bloody, skinless melting face and body that you have because you were in a shuttle by Saturn when it flared up causing an odd infection, BUT...CAN YOU TEACH THEM HOW TO READ?!

Horror tip of the day

If you're inside and a resurrected-serial killer-demon is after you, go ahead and throw that glass of acid you have sitting on your kitchen counter at it. Wow, that glass of acid sure comes in handy, you must have subconsciously knew you were going to need it, you rock star you! Wait...that's not water is it?

Horror tip of the day

If your kids find a severed human head in the stream, take advantage of it. After they're done screaming, tell them the man got his head cut off because he didn't eat his vegetables. Bonus points if the head is someone you didn't like!

Horror thought of the day

Love is like an evil, horror-movie clown: It makes you scream, it makes you laugh, it makes you cry...but then it eventually ends in just another bloody shoot-out with the cops.

Horror tip of the day

If you find out your son is the anti-christ, I think it's perfectly okay to make Satan change his diapers.

Horror tip of the day

If you really want to show your satanic cult members you love them, at the next cult party bring everyone a goat hoof key chain; you know instead of a rabbit's foot-a goat's foot...whatever, they'll get it...and when they do they'll laugh and probably give you a special robe or something.

Horror tip of the day

If you're a woman and you lost your hand, then someone sews on another hand from an evil goddess-then that hand starts to murder people; don't say that the hand did it, tell them something more believable...like it was PMS or something.

Horror tip of the day

Here's a tip when you're in the dark at scary place with friends: When one of your friend comes out of the dark with his throat was slit, screaming bloody murder, then falls on the floor and pretends he's dead, then cracks a smile and starts laughing...then that dumb bitch next to you in hysterics cries, "That's not funny!"-Don't believe her, because Vicky doesn't know comedy.

Horror tip of the day

When there is a giant monster coming at you and your friends, and bullets don't seem to kill it...I think it's a good idea to just keep shooting, then when you're out of ammo, throw your gun at it...if that doesn't work, do nothing because you're an idiot.

Horror tip of the day

If you're a paranormal investigator, I think it's okay to dress up like a clown...just to prove to the ghosts that you're not afraid of them.

Horror tip of the day

If you are in the middle of a seance and the lights go out and objects begin to fly around the room; I think it's a good time to close your eyes, smile and make a wish, because what else are you going to do?

Horror tip of the day

When you ask a creepy guy in the alley what his name is and his response is, "Iam Gonnakillyou"; you should turn and run away, cause I'm pretty sure that's not his real name.

Horror tip of the day

If a "swamp monster", that lives in the swamp, wants to murder your daugther, here's an idea: Don't go to the swamp! You're welcome.

horror happening of the day

I met this vampire the other day. I walked up to him and asked, "Hey, aren't vampires suppose to be ugly and scary." His response was, "Well, I'm really hot and have a lot of charisma." Then I thought, "Wow, what an asshole."

Horror tip of the day

If a huge meteor is coming towards earth, I think it's a good idea to run around in the yard, yell and flail your arms; because THAT'S what is really going to help the situation.

Horror thought of the day

I think it's okay for vampires to play with their food, especially Scrabble; because everyone likes Scrabble.

Horror tip of the day

If your daughter is stuck in the wall because of a poltergeist, I think it's okay to invite a bunch of people over and have a party. Not only will your family be the most entertaining people on the block, but now is your chance to show off your new furniture!