Horror thought of the day

Love is like an evil, horror-movie clown: It makes you scream, it makes you laugh, it makes you cry...but then it eventually ends in just another bloody shoot-out with the cops.

Horror tip of the day

If you find out your son is the anti-christ, I think it's perfectly okay to make Satan change his diapers.

Horror tip of the day

If you really want to show your satanic cult members you love them, at the next cult party bring everyone a goat hoof key chain; you know instead of a rabbit's foot-a goat's foot...whatever, they'll get it...and when they do they'll laugh and probably give you a special robe or something.

Horror tip of the day

If you're a woman and you lost your hand, then someone sews on another hand from an evil goddess-then that hand starts to murder people; don't say that the hand did it, tell them something more believable...like it was PMS or something.

Horror tip of the day

Here's a tip when you're in the dark at scary place with friends: When one of your friend comes out of the dark with his throat was slit, screaming bloody murder, then falls on the floor and pretends he's dead, then cracks a smile and starts laughing...then that dumb bitch next to you in hysterics cries, "That's not funny!"-Don't believe her, because Vicky doesn't know comedy.

Horror tip of the day

When there is a giant monster coming at you and your friends, and bullets don't seem to kill it...I think it's a good idea to just keep shooting, then when you're out of ammo, throw your gun at it...if that doesn't work, do nothing because you're an idiot.

Horror tip of the day

If you're a paranormal investigator, I think it's okay to dress up like a clown...just to prove to the ghosts that you're not afraid of them.