Horror tip of the day

If you are in the middle of a seance and the lights go out and objects begin to fly around the room; I think it's a good time to close your eyes, smile and make a wish, because what else are you going to do?

Horror tip of the day

When you ask a creepy guy in the alley what his name is and his response is, "Iam Gonnakillyou"; you should turn and run away, cause I'm pretty sure that's not his real name.

Horror tip of the day

If a "swamp monster", that lives in the swamp, wants to murder your daugther, here's an idea: Don't go to the swamp! You're welcome.

horror happening of the day

I met this vampire the other day. I walked up to him and asked, "Hey, aren't vampires suppose to be ugly and scary." His response was, "Well, I'm really hot and have a lot of charisma." Then I thought, "Wow, what an asshole."

Horror tip of the day

If a huge meteor is coming towards earth, I think it's a good idea to run around in the yard, yell and flail your arms; because THAT'S what is really going to help the situation.

Horror thought of the day

I think it's okay for vampires to play with their food, especially Scrabble; because everyone likes Scrabble.

Horror tip of the day

If your daughter is stuck in the wall because of a poltergeist, I think it's okay to invite a bunch of people over and have a party. Not only will your family be the most entertaining people on the block, but now is your chance to show off your new furniture!

Horror tip of the day

When you are a sheriff looking into a family that disappeared and you find nothing, but your deputy finds a small lump of sugar; it's pretty obvious then that it was giant, man-killing ants.

Fun horror tip of the day

When zombies are chasing you, a fun thing to do is pretend you're wounded, start limping...then, fall down. Then when the zombie reaches down to grab your foot, get up and run away...cause they love that.

Bad horror tip of the day

If you are by a creepy house in the woods, and there's a sign that says, "Danger", then you hear a strange noise in there; I think it's okay to go ahead and go in...in fact, go naked...and go ahead and bring a kitten too.

Horror tip of the day

I think it's okay to shoot first and ask questions later if the questions are real dumb.

Horror tip of the day

If you see a ghost, don't move and just stare back at it. Eventually it'll leave, cause I'm sure it's got other stuff to do.

Horror tip of the day

Apparenty you should be careful when purchasing a "demon" item, (masks, toys, statues...), because apparently if you "hold" some of them, they can possess you. I know! Who makes up these rules!!

Horror tip of the day

When the land owner says, "It's a known haunted house", doesn't always mean "haunted with fond memories", like you were thinking.

Tip of the day

If your grandma becomes a zombie at her birthday party and starts eating her guests; I think a good present would be toothpicks.

Bad horror tip of the day

When you're locked in a creepy house and hear a strange noise in the basement, followed by the sound of one of your friends screaming; you should probably go down there and check it out...your friend may be shouting in joy they found a way out!

Horror tip of the day

Got a tip from Dexter-putting up plastic everywhere, here's why: The good thing about summoning a demon is they'll most likely show up, the bad thing is they always seem to mess up your house. (I also heard the little demons leave droppings.)

Today's horror tip:

If your husband is shoveling food in your mouth to make you chubby enough for his cannibal thanksgiving dinner, think of the bright side; at least you know now he doesn't think you're fat.

Horror tip of the day

I don't care if the dog's name is "sweetiepants Mckindheart", if it is ripping your friend's arm off, run, don't pet it.

Tip of the day #2

If a friend has a wound the size of a bowling ball in their stomach, don't ask if they are "okay"; cause they're not.

TIP OF THE DAY:

When being chased by a werewolf, never run with a steak.